Are cats cuter than made up creatures ? Not always.

bbbbbut! Im a kitty! LOL

Which is cuter?
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                OR              

Ew this cat is a feral idiot.                                                       Omg look at her eeyyeesssss ^-^

    OR            

Zzzzz Sleepy cute                                                                     Hahahah so happy so cute big hair

            OR             

HYYAAAA slimy                                                                         Little Clam/Flower Princess cute very cute very

Who me 😮

OR                         

                                                                                                                                                I dont know, this guy is a spore.

This post is going nowhere but basically cats are cute and so are other things thank you.

CAT RELATED ITEMS

There are a lot of really cool looking cat products on the market. I find myself in an eternal struggle of choosing between having friends or liking cat things. I took a search over the internet to compile a pretty nice list of fancy things.

These kitty slippers are probably the cutest things I’ve ever seen. Their little smiles are welcoming to say the least, and they look to be almost like twins! (though their ears seem to be slightly different which gives each one a different personality) How could you ever have a worry hole if you had these little glowing gems shining back up at you? They also have a secure strap and hopefully rubber grips on the bottom in the shape of paw prints to keep accidental slips from happening!

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THIS LITTLE CAT MUG! My favorite feature of this specific mug is that the tail is actually the handle!(Look carefully) She has a little string that has fallen into the shape of a little heart amidst her playful pawing. I really don’t  (and NEVER will) like those mugs where they have a group of cats on the front, just normal, and then on the back they have their tails up and you can see their bums in detail. I  have seen it on t-shirts too and I don’t know who would want to have that on something?? My grandmother used to own a mug like that and she would drink coffee in it EVERY fucking day.  This mug here is very cute though.

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This key chain. It so realistic and is more like a real cat than a stupid cartoon one. I am immediately noticing the fur detail and the little pink nose. The cat who modeled for this must have been in good spirits since its tail is wrapped gracefully around him and seems to be at ease. I will try to find this. VERY NICE.

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It genuinely scares me that a dress like this exists. This is the sort of outfit that I would wear EVERY SINGLE day and end up getting lollipop stains all over it because I wouldn’t even be able to take if off for a few minutes to clean it. I wonder how many boyfriends I would have if I owned

this. I would say under 50 but over 10.

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THIS CUTE CAT BONNET! I can say right now just off the top of my head a couple of reasons this would be really lovely to have. Perfect for cold walks, as you could keep your head phones snug in your ears with no chance of them falling out if you decide to skip. I also am prone to ear aches so this would solve that EASILY. Of course the best part of this fashionable hat is that it has  a lovely ribbon that ties sweetly under the chin! You could also nap anywhere because it would be like a pillow taped around your head.This would match well with my cute cat slippers.

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Okay, the more I keep going with this, it really is seeming like its going to be one complete outfit. This sweater is SO nice. I would have about 60 cups of tea on the couch wearing this. I’m also thinking it would be good for a first date. (NOTE THE FLUTTERING BUTTERFLIES)

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This woman looks like an idiot.  These gloves are really stupid but I would wear them for naps and if I wanted to play with my cats and tickle their tummies without injury.

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THIS CAT PILLOW!  At first I only saw one cat, but there are FIVE in this pillow and possibly 6 but it’s hard to tell…This majestic garden scene

would look perfect propped up on my window sill or on the couch for a snuggle. I think if I owned this and then got married, this would be the deal breaker and could possibly cause a divorce. I would not part with this pillow. I am going to make it my mission to find a pillow like this as soon as humanly possible. 8 inches is the perfect size.

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THEY DO. They rule so much. I would wear this and ONLY this while cooking.. and possibly pair it with the cat bonnet. The only thing is, it’s

white.. which means it will be COVERED in cat hair.. so it will look probably really good after about a week. I would look very pretty in this.

WINK WINK WINK WINK WINK!!! 

WHAT MY CATS WOULD BE LIKE IF THEY WERE HUMANS! COULD YOU IMAGINE????

Author’s Note:

I am terrible at keeping a blog.. but I will try not to be such a ninny muggins and start posting on a regular basis. I am already feeling really shameful about living life instead of blogging and will surely punish myself in front of the mirror later.

KITTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOSH!! Have you tried petting a kitty before??

I have!!! AND IT WAS GOOD! SO SOFT!
I have thought about this for awhile and I think I have decided what my cats would be like if they were human beings. WHICH by the way, could happen at some point and now I will know how to recognise them.

 

 

 

 

 

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ELLIOT!

He would be an aging professor of English.  Definitely gay, and very shy. He would spend most of his time alone, lost in his own thoughts and fears. He would long for a lover but be too shy to ever pursue anyone. He would silently sit, and people watch before retiring to his quite home where he would read and have a glass of scotch.He would have one brief love affair with a younger man but then become reclusive and spend the end of his life alone.

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ALASDAIR!

Okay, so I know that this post is about my kitties turning into human beings.. but I just can’t see Alasdair actually being anyone. I think he’s more like a big round flower who just wants to gaze up at the sky and have no thoughts whatsoever. And just has a beaming, stupid smile on his face all day, and every other flower thinks he is the biggest idiot they have ever met in their lives. He might not even be a good flower since they have to do complicated flowery things.. but he would be an awfully cute one.

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LUNA!!!!  

She is obviously a stunning cat so she would be a babe in real life.A hot blonde psycho who uses her sex appeal to lure unfortunate men and women only to suddenly turn on them and viciously murder them, as they scream and writhe in agony. She will end up going insane and have to be hospitalised, where she will seduce the doctors and nurses, join together with the other inmates of the mental institution and ultimately overthrow the hospital and murder every living person.

Some ridiculous things I have said to my cats that were accidentally overheard by people causing me to feel embarassed.

“Oh you look so good! You must be a model!”

“You must have been working on your softs!”

“How many whiskers do you have? You should count them and tell me later.”

Singing the ‘this little piggy’ song with Elliot’s paw, stopping at 4..” Where is your 5th piggy?? Oh my god he what if he is dead??”

“I have to go to the gym ,if I don’t I will get fat! Oh you’ll probably like that though won’t you.. I hate you”

“You can’t live inside the fridge!”

‘”Cat’s food’ is much cuter to say than ‘Cat food’, don’t you think?”

“DON”T HIT YOUR FRIENDS!”

“Sugar is not a cat thing”

“Be good or else I’ll have to tickle you thirty times!”

“If you are actually a demon please tell me.”

“If you live in the bathtub you are going to hate it when I have a shower.”

“STOP EATING EVERY FEATHER!”

“You’re too pointy to nap with!”

Cat Tails (Tales)

One upon a time, there was a soft orange Elliot. He was happy on his own and whenever he would spy another cat outside he would growl and defend his home. He liked to be alone and be the only snuggle kitty around.

Then this little thing came to live with us.. his name is Alasdair! He was so cute, and so small, and so snuggly and silly.

Elliot did not approve. “What is this grotesque creature??” He asked me one day. I said, “Oh it’s a little cat.” He said, “Oh I don’t like this”

But please, don’t worry. Elliot accepted Alasdair after breaking his spirit  through a series of trials such as forcing rape and abuse. It paved the way for true friendship ! (not joking about the rapes)

Their little purrfect friendship continued, and one day I felt as if it was time to add another cat to the family. I think the rule among normal people  is, three and under is still okay but over three is too many cats? So adding one was okay.
Her name was Luna of course, and I guess she wasnt too horrible looking.

Oh god, Elliot HATED her. She wouldn’t back down, even with his alpha cat pressures and trials. Oh my god, if you could only know how much he hated her for ruining his perfect and quiet little cat heaven.

Anyways, this post is all just basically an excuse to tell a VERY cute little story about Alasdair!

When Luna came into our lives, Alasdair ADORED her immediately! He wanted nothing more to than to cuddle and play with her since he is a very sweet little thing. She was scared from Elliot’s torment, and assumed Alasdair could not be trusted. He tried so hard to get her attention and would follow her around and try to play. It was heartbreaking so see him trying to hard to be friends with her.  Okay so THIS is when the cutest thing so far that I have ever witnessed happened. Alasdair walked over to me after being hissed at by Luna, and put his face completely flat on my leg and sighed. It was so cute that I started to cry like a girl and I picked him up and told him not to worry.(CUTE ALERT)

Luna realised how sweet Alasdair was of course, and was soon always at his side.  Here they are when she was still small, and Alasdair looks like he may fly to the moon on wings of purrs.(If you click on it you will have a better look at his smile)

Oh and Luna and Elliot became friends too ! (Christmas miracle)

THEN LUNA GREW UP

Everything now is balanced and nice for us all. I would probably get up to 9 cats if possible but for now I think three is okay.

Fancy Dress Ball

Earlier today I decided I would take some fancy dress photos of my cats. If there is one thing I know about cats, it’s that they love to dress up and be dressed up.  I had a few themes in mind, and of course they worked out exactly as planned.

Outfit Number One: RICH LADY

Alasdair’s actual results: Pretty exact.

Outfit Number Two : WIZARD

Elliot’s actual Results:  Well..The hat is actually a stocking, but originally looked a lot like a wizard hat. Basically perfect.He loves doing this.

Outfit Number Three: Fairy Princess

Luna’s actual Results:  She fell asleep and ruined the character..

Then woke up 20 minutes later and ate the costume..

Gobbly Flower Goblin

A horrible murder of several flowers and stems. A tragedy? No, they are kitties! Kitties like fun! (Fun is fun)

The only way to really control what a cat does to entertain his or herself, is to be very tricky. If you don’t want your cat to go on a place, or eat a thing, or to scratch a thing.. then they WILL. I like to encourage my cats to do the things I don’t want them to do ( Because they get bored and would rather find something naughty )and discourage things to make their lives more mischievous and cat like.

I really have no papers that are important, but sometimes as a treat I like to lay out papers as if I am doing something which cannot be sat on or chewed on. Of course a cat will arrive in about 30 seconds and want to flop all over this. “Don’t!” I’ll say and push them off “These are my damn papers!” This makes kitties very excited, and soon they will be all over your pretend important business. (And having the best time being bad) And sometimes I’ll still try to write with a pen around their paws or maybe act a little annoyed. (For extra fun)

If you do have important papers, you shouldnt own any cats probably.

I receive a lot of flower bouquets from admirers and suitors on a regular basis.. Or I buy them specifically for my cats. (Mostly the cat one) A nice flower arrangement can bring joy to any kitty. If you expect to keep your flowers fresh and beautiful for a few days, you can forget it. The leaves will have little bite marks and the flower petals will be non existent after a few hours. Stems alone can be just as beautiful. You will also usually find some cat sick somewhere shortly after. Any cat owner knows that this is just another miracle of having a feline.

 

 

Oh hello